Procrastination
by EternalThirdWheel
Summary: Time waits for no one, it is constantly moving. It only matters what we choose to do with that time. Oneshot: Brief Riku/Sora, minor language, and alcoholism.


**Procrastination**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the characters**

 **Warning: Super long one-shot, slight Riku/Sora, and mentions of alcoholism.**

 **This was never supposed to be this long, but I couldn't find the right way to end it, and plus I was sleep-deprived when I began writing. Anyway, enjoy!**

Nobody ever expects to fall in love with their neighbor. Especially when said neighbor could always be heard bouncing up the stairs, or seen walking around the apartment complex with groceries or coming back from the office with a package.

Even minimal contact couldn't have helped it. If anything, those secrets of his life were what made the boy more alluring. Small wonders would pop up every now and then. When he started up that white Cavalier, where did he go? What classes did he take? Did he attend the local community college, or the university? Who did he live with, if anyone?

Riku would see him downtown every now and then, when friends had dragged him out to go clubbing, forcing him to interact with other humans in a hot, sweaty atmosphere with pumping music and grinding bodies. The kid didn't look like the partying type, barely legal, with that baby face and small frame, but Riku had seen him at the local bars a few times, generally with a group of equally cheery people. From what he could see, they never got as hammered as he imagined his group had.

This only intrigued Riku more. He'd never spoken to the boy, or even got his name, but there'd be time for that. The leases at this complex were either 9 months or 12. He'd never admit it, but when Riku came home every night and saw that all-too familiar car in the parking lot, he felt a little happier. It was something he couldn't explain, but when the ceiling above him grew quiet, he'd always imagine the boy had fallen asleep while studying, his wild, caramel spikes smooshed up against the open pages of his textbook.

Or maybe he was a book person. Curled up with a blanket on the couch during those cold, winter months, sipping occasionally from a cup of hot chocolate. Riku, himself, preferred coffee, but he assumed the boy was more of a hot chocolate drinker, anyway, and he was probably an early bird, judging by how energized he looked everyday. Nobody who woke up at noon every day would ever look that happy about life.

Smoking? Probably not. Definitely one of those healthy types, but with a sweet tooth every now and then. And he had good friends, too. Ones that actually cared about him.

Riku wondered if he could be one of those friends. Or something more. All it would take is a simple, "hey, you're the guy who lives above me." Then it could lead into questions, and Riku would find out more about the boy he had been admiring from afar since he'd first laid eyes on him.

He could've said anything. "Where are you from?" or, "what classes are you taking?" or even something as lame as, "how do you like these apartments?" Literally one word could've changed everything. And why shouldn't it work? They saw each other everyday, so the thought of rejection was slim. The chance of his neighbor suspecting the comment as anything besides small talk was very slim as well.

And Riku had waited. He had watched and waited, putting it off, claiming he'd say something clever next time. It wouldn't even have to be anything suggestive, either, just a casual, friendly conversation starter.

He hadn't stressed it though, not really. And it appeared to him, that he'd have all the time in the world. A year. He had an entire year to impress this kid.

Ultimately, that's what ended him. His own foolishness, his lack of perception to fully grasp what little time he really had, and what that time meant to him.

It started with the car. Yes, the car being gone overnight wasn't strange at all. This boy clearly had friends, and why wouldn't he want to stay with them? That was absolutely normal for people who socialized.

Two days was a stretch, but he could handle it. Maybe a weekend trip or a party. He'd be back tomorrow.

On the third day, Riku feared something had happened. He couldn't have moved out early, that just didn't seem right. Who would waste half a month's rent by moving to a new place?

Once day six struck, reality nailed Riku like a slap across the cheek. Both cheeks actually. Jade eyes bore into his own, a mixture of shame and disgust and possibly slight amusement evident among them.

"Riku, you're an idiot."

And that was the truth. He had always watched from the sidelines, a bystander in his own miserable love story. Even his friends tried to help him out, but realized he was just a pathetic waste who ran out of time. Hopeless.

"I told you to buy him a drink."

And he had. Riku remembered that day like yesterday.

 _The rhythmic drumming of the music pounded in tune with the beating of his heart. The dance floor lit up like a party, flashing lights everywhere and drunken patrons dancing to their heart's content, but that didn't deserve his attention. Four rum and cokes plus two Long Islands (courtesy of Axel, who had waved him off and said, "don't worry about it,") had hit him all at once, a sucker punch of liquor rolling around in his gut. Slightly disoriented, he couldn't help but stare. That's all he ever did was stare. Somehow, Riku wondered, through all of this, the kid seemed oblivious to his stalker neighbor._

 _Of course, Axel noticed. Riku hadn't the slightest idea where Larxene and Demyx disappeared to, and he thought he had been subtle with his staring. But his friend knew what was up._

" _See something you like?" And Axel had always been like that. Casual, but straight to the point at the same time._

 _Riku didn't reply. His drunken gaze should've been enough answer._

" _Go buy him a drink."_

 _The words sounded simple enough, but they were anything but. And Riku couldn't risk anything, not right now, not when he was this drunk and the boy was at a table surrounded by friends. The only thing he might accomplish would be total humiliation for himself and a possible restraining order issued by his neighbor, which wouldn't do well, either._

So, Riku had declined that offer. And now he found himself regretting it. Because when day 12 came around, Riku knew it was too late. Never again would he see that mess of brown hair bouncing up the stairs, or hear that crystal-laden voice speak ever again, or get lost in those endless pools of burning sapphire whenever they exchanged a brief eye contact.

 _You really screwed up this time_ , he told himself. The boy was gone.

Riku couldn't focus on his classes after that. He couldn't sleep. Even downing entire pots of coffee did nothing for him. He even avoided Axel for a long time. Avoided all human contact. Even the simple act of smiling in acknowledgement to a passing stranger seemed to strain him.

And then Riku thought it was stupid. The entire thing. How could he possibly have feelings for some dumb kid whose name he never even knew? And that he never even spoke to. It was a joke. Some stupid little crush that would go away within weeks.

Some four and a half months later, Riku found himself at the bar again, sucking half-heartedly on a rum and coke. A few seats down, Axel was attempting to hit if off with a blonde girl who was not having it. He found the scene to be rather amusing, even more amusing than Demyx, about seven and a half shots in-at least what Riku had noticed-attempting to shoot pool with a group of several other intoxicated patrons, while swaying his uncooperative body to the steady beat humming in the background. He hadn't the slightest clue where Larxene ran off to, although she probably had some poor kid backed up in the corner by now.

Riku took another sip. Agonizingly slow, as if it were the last thing keeping him from his own ill-timed execution. The clock hit half-past midnight, and he wondered why he even came. Maybe he held some slight hope of that boy showing up. He'd never admit that to Axel, though. Or himself.

Once two thirty came around, Riku gave up on that possibility. The bartender called last round and Riku drowned himself in liquor before heading home. You don't get second chances like that in life.

Another month passed, and Riku found himself moving into his new apartment. He planned to resign at his old one, but the place just felt empty now. Plus, he wanted to live downtown and be closer to the bars and to campus. Winter struck hard and ruthless, catching him off guard, and forcing him to step up his college game if he planned on passing this semester.

Instead of coffee, he now took shots to wake himself up. The burn made him feel more like a human and less like a zombie. The morning wind greeted him with a blast of snow to the face, stinging like ice, burning worse than the taste of straight fire down his throat.

When Riku cursed the world and the weather and the education system, he thought the day couldn't get any worse. However, Riku realized he needed to curse one more thing when his car wouldn't start.

He turned the key again. Twice. Three times, waiting for that unmistakable rumble of the engine turning over. The engine just sputtered, half-heartedly, and then died. Just like his motivation. He hated these apartments. They were cramped, and the parking sucked, and his neighbors were so noisy. Why couldn't he just move back? Why couldn't he just go back to when things were good and he had all the time in the world?

With an aggravated grunt, Riku slammed shut the door to his uncooperative piece of junk car and stepped back into the harsh cold once again. _Well, I didn't want to go to class anyway_.

For a moment, he just stood like an idiot in the snow, caught between running for the bus and heading back into his depressing apartment. Instead, he did neither. He just stood in the snow, between his car and the one beside him, the cold metal of the flask pressed against his chest seeming like the worst of his problems right now.

A sudden noise stole his attention, and as he looked up, he caught sight of something he should've noticed before. Two cars down, he spotted it, and like a recurring dream, a jolt of déjà vu passed through his body. For a moment, Riku couldn't think. Couldn't think anything, except for how this had to just be a coincidence.

A white Cavalier. A shiver ran down his spine, but not from the cold. At this point, he couldn't even feel the cold.

This had to mean something, he was sure of it. It wasn't just the alcohol talking, either.

Then, just like a scene from one of those sappy romance movies, Riku saw that familiar mess of brown hair appear from outside of the vehicle. The torrent of snow thinned, and as those piercing eyes came up to meet his own bloodshot ones, every single feeling surged back through him.

He wanted to tell this kid how much he thought about him, and how bad he wanted to talk to him and be his friend and confess his undying love without sounding like a stalkerish creep.

And when it all reached his head, Riku mustered up all of his courage, and, after what felt like an eternity, raised his hand a little, in a gesture of greeting.

Suddenly, the boy's face morphed into one of disgust, and Riku found an annoyed blonde boy glaring at him as if he dare to have the nerve to exist. The boy shouldered his backpack and headed towards the safety of his own apartment, leaving Riku completely dumbfounded.

Two hours later, Riku woke up. He didn't remember falling asleep. But when he found himself in his own bed, with the mother of all hangovers, he realized just how cruel the world really was. Even in his dreams, he could never win.

He didn't even have the motivation to puke. Instead, he went over to the window and looked out over the parking lot. His piece of junk car sat right where he left it, that wasn't a surprise. The spot where he remembered seeing the white Cavalier was now occupied by a purple Honda. With a great sigh, Riku realized that his dreams were just that, dreams. Pitiful. It must've been a combination of the alcohol and the cold that caused him to hallucinate. He glanced over towards the half-empty bottle of Captain sitting on his nightstand. That's how the rest of his day would turn out, it seemed.

Six days later, Riku found himself in a lecture hall for some contemporary literature class he hadn't attended for the past two weeks, accompanied by a hangover that could put even the harshest alcoholics to shame. He had finally found the motivation to drag himself to school, after taking the bus all the way to campus and realizing that life sucked and he'd never meet that boy again. Riku was content on living the rest of his life in a drunken haze.

The teacher droned on about some stupid book while Riku wondered how he was going to pay his rent this month. How did people actually have time in their days for this crap? He had a broken down car and a very bare alcohol cupboard. The great works of some famous person didn't mean anything to him. Hell, he could write his own novel and have it be amusing enough for people to actually laugh at his misery.

Not to mention, he was hallucinating. Maybe it had something to do in part of the alcohol. Nah, couldn't be. The alcohol was the only thing that made sense to him.

Forty-five minutes later, Riku was on the bus, gazing out the window as if he'd find the answer to life out there. The metal wall was cold against his skin, but he barely felt it. He could barely feel anything anymore.

Somehow, he found himself at the bar again. It almost seemed that he was here more than he was actually at home. Even the bartender thought so, as well.

"You really need to find a better place to hang out, kid." He didn't even sound annoyed. A little amused, but not annoyed.

Riku skipped the rum and coke and went straight for shots of Black Velvet. After the fourth one, the bartender refused to serve him anymore. Riku threw down his last twenty, but the man still wasn't going to budge.

"Look, kid, you're the only one in here, you still have your backpack with you, and there's no possible way your problems can be that bad that you need to come in here everyday. So do yourself, and your liver a favor and go home."

Riku risked a quick glance around the building, noting that he was, in fact, the only customer in there today. He set his head against the counter, made a sound halfway between a growl and a whine, and shut his eyes.

 _Clunk!_ A glass of water appeared right in front of him. Riku barely acknowledged the existence of another human being at the time. He was hollow. Empty.

He recalled his phone going off some time later, but didn't answer it. Whoever it was could wait. He passed out momentarily, noting that a few other stragglers had made their way to some of the back tables. When the bartender left him alone at the counter, Riku figured it was a good enough time to leave.

Fifteen minutes and four missed calls later, Riku found himself back at home. He half expected to find an angry redhead standing outside of his door with arms crossed, but instead found only his abandoned walkway and doorstep covered in snow.

He glanced back over his shoulder, briefly, momentarily, spotting that Cavalier again. Riku shook his head. Must've been his eyes playing tricks on him.

Riku tossed his keys onto the table, the apartment feeling cold and empty, just like his heart. He plopped onto the lonely couch and decided to check his voicemail. Axel. Of course. Nobody else cared enough about him to routinely check that he was alive. Riku already knew what Axel wanted before hearing his scolding voice. His friend sounded worried and disappointed, as he asked, "where the hell have you been for the past two weeks?" and saying how Riku was acting like an idiot and that he, "better not be drunk."

He didn't really know when it happened. Just that at some point in his life, he really messed up, took a wrong step, something, and everything went downhill from then.

The last of the Captain stared at him. Somehow, it had made its way from his room upstairs down to the end table in his living room. Riku had no choice but to finish it off and pass out on the couch.

When Riku woke up, he didn't recognize his surroundings. Not to mention, he was in a bed, and he distinctly remembered passing out on his couch sometime last night. The room was small and empty, but gave off a warm feeling and something reminiscent of home. Not his apartment, but his childhood home, and all of the good memories that stirred up. Plus it didn't reek of spilled liquor in here either.

Riku stumbled out of bed into the hallway. Another bedroom rested at the end of the hall, with a bathroom between his and the next. He bypassed the bathroom, too dehydrated to actually make anything come out, and definitely not in the mood to sit in front of the toilet and dry-heave for a few hours. So, the stairs were his next best option. Walking down them with as much grace as a blind gazelle, he made his way past the living room and into the kitchen. The first thing he did was check the time. 9:13. Who was even awake at this hour?

Suddenly, a noise behind Riku made him jump. He swerved around, spotting a flash of red standing behind him.

"Axel." Riku wasn't even sure if he said that out loud or if he was just thinking it in his head.

His friend raised an eyebrow before crossing his arms. "I'm putting you under house arrest. You're not leaving here until you're good and sober."

Riku furrowed his brow, slightly annoyed. "I'm an adult, Axel. You can't make me do anything. And I have class."

"You're failing anyway."

Riku didn't respond. He had nothing to say.

The rest of the month passed by in a haze. It seemed that the recovery stage was harder than the addiction stage had ever been for him. Riku hadn't had any normal human contact aside from Axel for a good three weeks. He forgot how society worked. His teachers all assumed he had dropped, and stopped including him in the class emails.

Today was Thursday. Riku sat at the kitchen table, a cup of untouched orange juice sitting in front of him. Axel had already left for class, which meant Riku was left alone to stew in his own thoughts.

Knock! Knock!

Riku hopped up, wondering if someone was hammering his head. It sure felt like it. Another round of pounding and he realized that someone was knocking on the door. Couldn't have been Axel, he had a key.

Begrudgingly, Riku stood and headed over to the front door. He didn't bother to peek out the window before swinging open the door to reveal a postman. The man held a small package in his hand. "I've got a package here for some Axel Flare. That you?"

Riku shook his head. "No, but I'm his roommate."

The man gave a shrug and shoved the package into Riku's hands. "Well, make sure he gets that, then." And with that, the man headed off, leaving a stunned Riku standing out on the front porch in the light snow.

A light click forced him to look up. Across the way, one of the neighbors were leaving their apartment. When Riku glanced up, he caught sight of the deepest blue he'd ever seen in his entire life. A calm blue. A familiar blue.

For a moment, the two just stared at one another. _Was this real? Was this him? He was Axel's neighbor all along?_

"Hi," Riku breathed.

"Hi," the boy replied, flashing a pearly white smile, before heading off on his way. For a minute, Riku just stood there, in awe. With a sly grin on his face, he realized that this time, he wouldn't wait. And maybe, just maybe, staying at Axel's place wasn't so bad after all.

 **I couldn't resist a happy ending. Let me know what you thought!**


End file.
